Guide to the Wedding Ceremony
by Tiffany Batchelor
My most-asked wedding ceremony question is: What is the wedding processional order?
My simple answer to an engaged couple is, “It’s your wedding day. You get to choose.”
This simple answer, in reality, is not so simple. The bride and groom know they will stand front and center, yet all other family and friends in attendance need a place, too, and look to the couple for direction on when to enter, what to do, and where to sit or stand.
Each religion has its own guidelines for the wedding processional order and reserved sides for family. In addition, church ceremonies will be dictated by the church and officiant. It is important to discuss the wedding processional order with the officiant to get an understanding of what is traditional, as well as, the details eligible for customization. Non-denominational, secular, or a non-traditional ceremony can either borrow one of these traditions or use it as a template to create a personalized ceremony layout.
Christian Ceremony
Processional
Grandparents of the Groom: If present, the groom’s paternal grandparents enter prior to the groom’s maternal grandparents. Grandmothers can be ushered by the grandfather or by any family member or usher. Grandparents sit in the first or second row on the right side.
Grandparents of the Bride: If present, the bride’s paternal grandparents enter prior to the bride’s fraternal grandparents. Grandmothers can be ushered by the grandfather or by any family member or usher. Grandparents sit in the first or second row on the left side.
Groom’s Parents: The mother of the groom is escorted by the father of the groom. Couples can elect for the groom to escort his mother, with father to follow. The groom will seat his mother on the first row of the right side of the aisle and then exit to take his place with the best man. The father of the groom traditionally sits next to the aisle, and the groom’s mother sits in the second seat.
Mother of the Bride: The entrance of the mother of the bride signals the end of the pre-ceremony processional, and once she is seated the wedding processional will begin. The mother of the bride is traditionally escorted by a family member. A couple can choose for the father of the bride to escort the mother of the bride, and then he will circle back to escort the bride. Once the mother of the bride reaches the end of the aisle, she takes her seat to the left of the aisle in the first row next to the aisle. The bride’s family traditionally sits on the left side of the aisle so that the father of the bride and groom can make eye contact.
Officiant: The officiant represents the leader of the ceremony.
Groom and Best Man: After the mother of the bride takes her seat, the groom traditionally enters solo. More commonly, the groom and best man will follow the officiant to the center of the aisle. Should the couple elect for bridesmaids and groomsmen to process as couples, the best man will enter with the maid of honor or as the last groomsman. The best man often holds both rings. If the maid/matron of honor holds the groom’s ring, the best man will hold the bride’s ring.
Bridesmaids and Groomsmen: Bridesmaids walk down the aisle one by one. Couples can select to have bridesmaids and groomsmen line up in height order or in a specific order of personal preference. If a bride selects junior bridesmaids, in addition to bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids are usually between the ages of 8 and 16, and will process before the bridesmaids.
Matron/Maid of Honor: The last to process is the maid/matron of honor who assists the bride with final preparations before she walks down the aisle. She takes her position closest to the officiant on the left side. She will stand at the bride’s side at the altar and assist with the bride’s dress, veil, train, hold her bouquet and sometimes the groom’s ring. If the bride selects both a matron of honor and maid of honor. The maid of honor processes before the matron of honor.
Ring Bearer: The ring bearer precedes the bride and traditionally carries a small pillow with decoys of the ring. More contemporary options include a sign. Boxes of glass or wood are alternatives. The ring bearer can stand at the front along with the rest of the wedding party or sit with a family member.
Flower Girl: The flower girl precedes the bride, traditionally preparing the way with flower petals. Traditional symbolism of the flower girl, is a child -like version of the bride dropping rose petals as a symbol of good luck.
Father of the Bride and Bride: The father of the bride traditionally escorts his daughter down the aisle, standing to her right. Should the bride’s father not attend, the bride can walk alone or with any loved one or special friend. Once down the aisle, the father or escort will shake hands with the groom, lift the bride’s veil signifying his blessing, then he takes his seat next to the bride’s mother.
Bride and Bride’s wedding party stand on left side of Officiant/Priest
Groom and Groom’s wedding party stand on right side of Officiant/Priest
Alternative options
Seating Right vs. Left: The couple can elect to have immediate family swap sides for seating. Moving the bride’s parents to the right side allows the mother and father of the bride to look at their daughter’s face during the ceremony and vice versa for the groom’s family.
Grandparents: A multitude of reasons can prohibit grandparents processing down the aisle. Couples can elect for grandparents be seated prior to the wedding. It is polite to seat them in a reserved row near the front.
Catholic Ceremony
In order to have an official Catholic wedding, the couple must wed in a Catholic church. According to the Catholic dioceses, the couple’s marriage must take place in the presence of Christ and in a setting intended for worship and prayer.
Processional
Groom and Best Man: The groom and the best man follow the priest and enter from the side, taking position at the center of the altar.
Bridesmaids and Groomsmen: Traditionally, bridesmaids and groomsmen escort one another down the aisle. When reaching the altar, the bridesmaids break left and groomsmen break right to line up.
Matron/Maid of Honor: The last to process is the maid/matron of honor who walks alone and takes her position closest to the officiant on the left side.
Ring Bearer
Flower Girl
Ultimately, the processional is the couple’s choice, options are all morally neutral and a matter of preference.
Photography by Chandra’s Collection, Lori Romano, Lauren Rathbun, Jess Barfield Photography